Chapter 1: Early Memories..
My oldest memory of HIM was seeing my Dad walking from one
room to another with an incense stick in his hand. He would step out of his
bath wrapped in a white cloth and perform puja. After puja he would take a
black colored stick and walk across to all the rooms. I used to find this
exercise strangely calming. The rhythmic pattern of his hand movement…..the
circle of smoke that used to form in the air….the soothing smell that engulfed
the surrounding. It was a part of my regular
routine…a kind of a prayer.
As I grew up another distinct memory nested within the
deepest crevice of my heart. After her
daily puja my mother would sit with
her hands folded, and tears would roll down her cheek. I used to stand at the
edge of the door, silently and watch, as a silent hand reached out to her and comfort her.I still
wonder if those tears were of gratitude or complaint. But they rolled down
every day…relentlessly.
I think it was because of these early memories that I could
never grow up and ask for anything from HIM. Every day when I folded my hands
and stood in front of him, words fell short for me. But somewhere deep down I knew
that HE knew. And that comforted me. And if ever under pressure I had to ask for
something, I felt guilty.
Chapter 2: The Meeting..
It was a regular day. I hurried through the morning chores, packed
the lunchbox for my husband and myself and rushed to take a shower. Once I was dressed, I walked into the ‘puja ghar’ and lighted the incense
stick. Suddenly the room around me was filled with thick smoke from the
incense. Though the smoke engulfed me, I hardly felt claustrophobic; rather the
soothing fragrance of sandalwood calmed my senses. Suddenly the room around me
melted into thin air…and I found myself standing in a beautiful garden. Though
I couldn’t see the ground beneath my feet I could walk around the heavenly
garden. There were flowers around me and some of them were so beautiful that I
felt that looking at them for too long would stop my breath. I had no clue
where I was. Next thing I know I was doing that most of the people of our
generation will do when they are in such a situation (no, I was not
google-ing). I reached out for my mobile phone, only to realize that I’m no longer
at my home. Now the situation slowly started to sink in. I saw a pristine lake
in front of me and walked towards it. I sat down on a bench and my mind raced
back.
“How did I reach
here?” I was at home, doing my daily prayer…then how did I land up here?
“What is this place? Though I’ve never been here, I have
seen this place. More like, I have experienced this place very closely. Just while
I was pondering hard about how I reached this place, I felt a presence around
me.
I looked up to see an elderly man sitting across the bench
and looking at me. It was the most kindest look I have ever seen (the extra
stress is intentional). His eyes were like the huge shady tree that comforts
you on a scorching day. I looked baffled, as he smiled as if he knew me since
ages. I quickly composed myself, and mumbled, “I think I’m kind of lost here. Any
idea where this is?”
On hearing this he laughed. His voice was like the soft gurgle
of a flowing waterfall. He said, “You mean that you were lost so long, and have
finally found your way”. I looked puzzled, and before I could say anything
else, he spoke again, “You are in heaven my child, and I’m God”.
I had more than required reasons to laugh him off, but I didn’t.
Instead I looked around me, and then looked at the man sitting just inches away
from me. It was then I realized why the place looked familiar, this is what I had
always imagined heaven would look like.
Then I heard him speak, “How are you doing, my child?” I looked
up; tears were swelling in my eyes. “Is
there anything you want to tell me”, he added.
The tears rolled down.
My heart was almost bursting out of its seams. At that point
there was so much to ask for, so many requests to make, so many questions to be
answered, and I didn’t know where to start from. But when I spoke, all I could
say was, “How are you doing? Please take care of yourself.”
He took my hands in his, and smiled. This time I saw tears
in HIS eyes.
